


To Find the way to Cameron's Stargate

by bunsdarien



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/M, Gen, M/M, Other, Spoilers, especially at Daniel's expense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-21
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-12-09 02:33:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/768955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunsdarien/pseuds/bunsdarien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cameron’s lost. Everyone wants to help him... Find his way... Especially at Daniels expense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. twister anyone?? score 1 for Teal'c

Disclaimer: Don't own anything to do with anything. Just borrowing them. I WILL give back the character of Jack, but I"m keeping Daniel. He has a new toy to play with! ;)  
A/N: this is one of my favorite solo stories I ever wrote.. Hopefully you all like!

 

II Find The Way II Cameron’s Stargate:

“You don’t have a chance with him.” Vala informed Daniel as she pulled him around to face her.

Pulling his arm out of her grasp, the bearded archaeologist turned bemused and replied.. “Excuse me?”

Rolling her eyes, she restated to him. “You DO. NOT. HAVE. A. CHANCE. WITH. CAMERON!”

Daniels shoulders arched and free hand raised up in the air. “Chance? Cameron? Huh?” he asked.

Wondering if just maybe that tight leather outfit was somehow effecting the air passage to her brain.

She chuckled for a bit then placed her hand on his shoulder. He gave her a look, and the arm was removed.

“He’s not your type. Your lacking the needed equipment.” With that she took her hands and proceeded to lift up her breasts.

Shaking his head in disbelief and shock... “WHAT! I do not want. I don’t know why.. I ... What the hell am I even having this conversation with you. Let’s go..” He turned and started to walk away.

Not finished with her pleasurable torture, she ran ahead of him, and forcing him to completely stop.

It’s really quite sad to see you fawn all over Colonel Mitchell... I mean, Cameron.. Like that.”

Trying to justify her statement, Daniel decided that ignoring her might be a better idea. But, when she started to mimic the conversations he had with Mitchell in her presence... Well, his patience wore thin.

“What is your problem. Got a thing against men.. Possibly?” he asked her.

“No, my dear. I like men. I like all men. I don’t like you, though.”

“Well, I’m a man.”

Eyeing him critically, she snorted.. “Might want to check on that. I wouldn’t be quite sure.” Then moving her way over to his chin.. “You have a speck of dirt here. You might want to take some water to that.”

Daniel stared at her in disbelief. Eyes tightened. Anger growing. And patience lost. “Excuse me, Vala. But have you been possibly in General O’Neills old stash?”

From up behind them, Teal’c entered the scene.

“DanielJackson. I thought you had made a promise to O’Neill not to ever mention his stash, since that night you two...”

Daniel interrupted... “Had coffee and stayed up all evening playing twister.”

Daniel growled to himself. ‘Twister?’ Where the hell did that come from.

“Hm...” Vala replied. Curious at to what this ‘twister’ was.

“Twister? You Tau’ri have strange expressions for such things. But I do see how you might do that. ” There was a slim smile on the Jaffa’s face. He knew what he was saying.

As if on cue, in walked Cameron Mitchell. He looked at them, and only catching the tail end of the conversation stated, “Twister! Cool.. When this is all done and said, whose up for a game.”

Sudden silence.

You could of heard a pin drop from the Noxs world.

Then the silence was broken by a choking noise.

Everyone turned toward Daniel, who seemed to be having some trouble.

"DanielJackson, are you alright?" Teal'c asked in concern as he watched his friend’s face turn a light shade of blue. “Are you in need of Mouth to mouth?”.

Cameron walked over toward Daniel, and handed him his canteen. Daniel choked on most of the water that he was trying to swallow down.

“Mouth to mouth? You should definitely take up your big Jaffa friends offer...” Vala started saying, watching more water winding up on the Daniels outfit, then in his mouth.

Then once Daniel seemed to calm down a little, Vala just had to start up on him once again. “You know what I just realized? It’s sad, really, that you choke on liquid... How would you expect to ever deeply suck on the Colonels..."

"VALA!" A watery eyed Daniel screeched.

Cameron looked at the group.. "Do I even want to know the end of that sentence?" He asked aloud.

"NO!" Came from Daniel.

"Possibly," Came from Teal'c.

"Well, I could just show you," Vala offered..

Looking back and forth from Daniel to Vala, Cameron decided that it might be a safe bet to move away from them and stand next to Teal’c.

Afraid to ask, but needing to know, he asked the Jaffa... “When I walked in before.. It wasn’t the game of Twister they were talking about... Was it?" A wee bit of concern evident in his facial features.

Looking down at the colonel, a smile adorned his face. "No they were not. I believe they were both more interested in having se... .."

"TEAL'C!" Screamed Daniel...

A loud sigh was heard. "Oh come on, Daniel, stop ruining our fun." Teased Vala. "Your such a spoiled sport. Really no fun at all."

Moving over toward her, Daniel grabbed her arm to have her face to face with him. “This is not funny. Do I look like I'm laughing. Does it look like I think this is funny?" He asked. Eyes wide.

Looking deep into his eyes, Vala started laughing. "I don't know about you, but I think this is hysterical. And you still have a better shot at getting impregnated by a gou’ld then having sexual intercourse with..."

"YOU! I get it, Vala." Daniel stated. Trying once and for all to end the conversation.

"Of course. You don't have a shot with me. I kicked your pathetic ass. I would NEVER sleep with a bottom. That would be a waste of both of our times... You would be called a concubine, or Eunuch in other cultures... It’s a pity though. Your such a nice length. Too bad a woman will never feel...”

“STOP! Right there!" Pleaded the voice of Cameron.

"That's i!. Vala you go in that corner." Pointing to the right side. "Doctor Jackson, you go into that corner." Pointing to the opposite side.

He turned to Teal'c. "Was it ever this difficult with General O'Neill as leader?"

Looking hard at Cameron. "Yes. Especially when O'Neill and DanielJackson were having their lovers spats."

“TEAL’C!” screamed Daniel.

Laughing could be heard from Valas corner.

“Ah,” Cameron gulped. “Your with me,” He told Teal’c. Literally running from the tombs.

As they were exiting, Vala could be heard staying...

“See I told you, Daniel.”

“SHUT UP! VALA!”


	2. Why is everybody always picking on me??>.. Priceless

Daniel watched with a sad sigh as Cameron ran from the room. You could of sworn the gates of hell were riding on his ass, with the traction he was making.

Smug, and never knowing when to shut up, Vala just had to gloat.

“See I told you, Daniel.”

Fed up to his head with the bitch’s little comments, “SHUT UP! VALA!”

Taking in deep breathes, Daniel tried to calm himself down before he went mental on her, but she just couldn’t leave it be.

Moving out of her corner she made her way toward the exit, planning on following Teal’c and Cameron's retreating backs. Turning around, she placed a finger to her chin as if in heavy thought. “Well, we can see obviously what his answer is...So why don’t you be a good boy and ...”

Daniel lost all rational thought. Storming over to the exit, he grabbed Vala and proceeded to pull her down in a lip lock. The kiss last mere seconds, before Daniel wound up cupping his aching crouch.

“..B...Bit..ch!” Daniel wheezed out..

“I. TOLD. YOU!” Vala screamed.“I would NEVER sleep with a bottom! I want a real man!” With that she proceeded to walk out of the room. Leaving a pained Daniel on his knees, trying to catch his breathe.

ColonelMitchell, are you well?"

“Ah... I don’t know!” Cameron didn’t know exactly what to say.. He just got kicked in the head with the 'Don't tell, Don't ask.' And the thought of someone he admired... Colonel Jack O'Neill; Leader of SG1, a know military bad ass; Mr. Special Ops.. Now General. Having sexual relations with Daniel Jackson. Who wasn't bad to the eye... Shit.. where the fuck did that come from. Oh god! My head.

Stopping short. "Teal'c... Do you happen to have any Asprin? Please say yes..."

Looking at the Mitchell, Teal'c shook his head.

"Yes. But, DanielJackson has it on him." He turned around and started to leave back the way in which they came.

Cameron ran over to him, stopping him. "Where are you going?"

Teal'c was confused.. " I thought you were in need of aspirin. I was going to go retrieve some from DanielJack..."

He was stopped by Cameron's "NO! That's alright. Fine, really. I'm better now.. Swear.." Cameron for effect smiled, and stopped rubbing his temples.

"If you are sure, ColonelMitchell.,” He turned to watch Cameron shake his head in agreement.

“Which direction do you wish to proceed?” Teal’c asked.

About to point in the opposite direction of the other two people in the group, pure moment of sanity was interrupted by a call of his name.

“Cameron, my dear,” Was heard from behind the two men.

“Oh lord, take me away,” Teal’c raised a brow at Cameron’s statement.

“I’m not a lord; At least not any longer. And I’ll be happy to take you my way,” Vala stated with a seductive tone to her voice. Which was more annoying then anything to the two men.

Cameron gulped. Shook his head and decided that not answering that offer might be best for all.

Looking over her shoulder, he realized that someone was missing.

“Vala, where is Dr. Jackson?”

Her smile just grew bigger. And it unnerved Cameron.

“Oh.. Daniel? He’s waiting for us back by the rings. He just had an unfortunate accident.... He might be squatting while relieving himself for a while..”

Teal’c and Cameron both looked at Vala with concern...

“What the hell happened?” Cameron asked the woman. Concern evident in his voice.

“Nothing to effect his sex life,” she stated simply. “He doesn’t...”

She stopped herself, soon realizing that the two men were no longer in the room.

She growled infuriated. And turned to follow the others back toward Daniel.

The foursome exits the Star gate:

The Gate Room

“I can’t believe you...”

“Oh, please..What? Not like you actually use them.?”

“No!.. Damn it, Vala. How could you. That was so immature.. I can’t believe you had the nerve to..”

Interrupting Daniels tirade, “Nerve to what? Give it up, Daniel! You should NOT have kissed me. Do I look like a man ?” Once more she proceeded to grab and lift her breasts. “I Like Men. Not Eunuchs. And if you do that again, you WILL become one!”

“WHAT?” was heard as the foursome exited the Stargate.

“Oh, thank god!” Was heard coming from Cameron’s lips.

The foursome looked to see General Landry standing at the end of the ramp.

“Colonel Mitchell, care to explain...” Landry looked at the four of them. Vala and Daniel were arguing. Doctor Jackson was cupping his ‘privates.’ Teal’c looked extremely aggravated And Colonel Mitchell... He looked like he was two seconds away from an nervous breakdown.

“Vala.. I know people.. I know... Aliens. Lots of Aliens! And they will NEVER find your body!” Landry snapped out of his stupor to hear Daniel threaten Vala with.

“Oh, please. Your threaten me? I'm so shaking in my boots here, you see. You are so pathetic....”

“SHUT UP!”

Silence. They all turned to the voice of reason.

“Thank you, Teal’c.” Cameron said. Patting the big guys arm.

“Yes, thank you Mr. Teal’c..” Landry seconded...

“Doctor Jackson, are you in need of assistance to the infirmary?”

“Pfft, He needs all the...” Vala started to say until Teal’c gave her a look. She pouted then turned away.

“No, Sir. I’m alright by myself.”

“Good. Infirmary all of you. Then my office..Dismissed...”

: Doctor Jackson's Office:::  
Daniel sat at his desk, enjoying a nice brewed cup of his favorite coffee blend.  
His plan was to hide out in his office and lick his 'wounds.; At least until things hopefully cleared over. Or Vala had a ‘accident.’  
Lost in the orgasmic bliss of the richness of his heavenly coffee, he didn't hear his office door open; And then it was too late. His visitor was in front of him.  
"Hello, Daniel."  
Startled, A loud "CRAP!" and he jumped up. Spilling some of his coffee on to his lap.  
Walking over to the archaeologist, Vala watched Daniel in amusement. He held his pants out in front, with one hand, while using tissues to wipe the wetness up with the other.  
"Well at least I didn't cause damage to anything of use to you.. Again.." She said, with a smirk on her face.  
"Why are you.. Never mind. Will you just leave.. You....Go..Shoo!" he pleaded..Turning away from her to undo his belt and check on his 'goods.'  
Moving closer over to Daniel, she peered over his shoulder. Either trying to check the damage, or to see if she was correct about the size of his appendage.  
"Do you mind?" Daniel asked. Redoing his belt..  
"Me? Mind? Of course not. Feel free to strip any time... " She said with a smile. "Oh, and while your at it maybe I should call Cameron so then I can have a REAL show!" With that she jumped onto his desk. She grimaced once she heard a crushing sound. Reaching under her lap, she grabbed a hold of the now ruined item. Handing them to there owner.  
"I um....found your glasses." She held the mangled pair out to him.  
Daniel replied, "Uh...Yeeeaah...Great. Your ASS is a homing device. I'll uh...keep that in mind."  
Growling to himself, he threw the glasses in the wastebasket. And proceeded to sit back at his desk. Grabbing the cup of coffee, well out of Vala's reach.  
Vala looked toward her leather covered ass, then toward Daniel. "My ass.. a homing device?? I say not! You happen to be the one who seems to have the homing going on just fine there.."  
"Pleassseeeee..... WHY?!" Daniel whined. "Why won't you leave me alone?! I thought you wanted Mitchell."  
A smile adorned his face at the sudden thought.. " Go... Harass Colonel Mitchell or something! Just leave me be!"  
Grabbing Daniel's chin to face her, Vala leaned downward. Presenting her 'assets' in his face.  
"Why on any planet would I wish to leave. You give me such.... entertainment."  
Sighing, Daniel opened his desk draw and grabbed a spare pair of glasses.  
Being her typical noisy self, Vala noticed Daniel supply draw. "You have enough glasses in there to sight an entire colony? Lose many?" Vala asked.  
Closing and locking the draw. "Jack said he got this great deal. Thought it was funny since I always lost them."  
"Well, I could stea.. sell a few..." Vala offered. “I’ll cut you in twenty percent.”  
"Ah, NO!" He answered.  
Without notice, Vala blinded him with a question. “:Do you happen to own these charge cards I heard about on the television?”  
Looking at her he was trying to figure out what the hell her angle was now. He said, “Yes. And why do you want to know?”  
“No reason, really. Just heard about them and was curious.”  
“O.K.” he thought. “What is she up to now.” He didn’t ask. He was enjoying the moments of pure silence that seemed to surround the two. .  
But, that quiet, calm could not last. Daniel was going crazy trying to figure her out. "Not that I'm not enjoying the silence from you.. Trust me, I am... But, I was wondering why you came down here in the first place? Was it for any other reason then the charge cards?:"  
Sliding off the desk, Vala walked over to an artifact on the wall.  
"No. The credit cards, I just had...a mere curiosity about. The real reason I came in here to was to a...... to say so........ ..I wanted to make sure you weren't permanently damaged."  
"Ah," Daniel stated, watching her handle the ancient vase in her hand carelessly. "I'm fine, and if you wouldn't mind.. Please place that down where it was."  
Placing it back on the shelf, "I was just trying to ap.... Fr......HELL!" She seemed to be having some bit of trouble saying the words..  
Smiling, Daniel decided to have some fun with this. "So. You wanted to apologize. Was that it? APOLOGIZE?"  
"Yes. That’s the exact reason I came down here.. And I’m glad you accepted.”  
“Well, who said I accepted,” Daniel said. Facing making the pout that drove Jack crazy.  
“You.. You just accepted my.. Ap.... You did. I heard you,.” Vala stated. Moving over toward Daniel. She put a hand on his hip, and another on his cheek. “And stop with the pout. Your too old to make such faces.” lightly patting the cheek.  
“That’s it..... Get out.. NOW!” Daniel demanded. Fed up with her little shenanigans.  
Vala left in what looked like defeat. That was until Daniel reached into his back pocket and pulled nothing up.

“VALA!” he screamed. Realizing she had lifted his wallet.


	3. So... what does this do... exactly?

::Location: Cafeteria (A.K.A. Food Poisoning Central)::  
:::  
“What are you doing here?” Vala asked as she interrupted Cameron.

“Having lunch,” he stated while trying to enjoy his jell-O.

“Don’t you care that there could be pyre’s out there, taking advantage of pure innocent people? Luring them into a repressed religion, or worse killing them for rejecting it.”

“Are you bored of bothering Jackson?”

Rising from her seat, “I can’t believe you would say such things... Here I am trying to help you find a way to fight the Ori and ....” She looked to see if her big show was gaining any attention.

Cameron just continued to eat his Jell-O. And not another soul was looking her way.

Rolling her eyes, she sat back down. Defeated.

“Alright. I’m bored. I’m bored of these walls. I’m bored of stating the obvious where Daniel is concerned.. I’m .. I .... I want to go shopping.”

Cameron finally turned and faced her.

“You want to go what?” He asked. Not really wanting to be responsible for letting  
Vala Mal Doran into the human population.

“Shopping? You do know what that is... Though looking at the wardrobe around here, I’d say.. No.”

 

“NO!” He stated firmly.

Moving behind him, she leaned against his back. Moving her hands toward his pecks she slide them down... “I’ll make it good for you if you could just do me this tiny favor.”

Suddenly her hands were moved away.

“I’m not interested, Vala. Now be a good girl and find a new person to bother. “ He used his hands in a shoo away motion.

“Of course your not interested. Jesus, is any man in this vicinity Straight?” She asked aloud. A couple of hushed, ‘Yes!’ were heard, and Cameron pretended not to hear her.

“Fine. I understand. It’s quite alright, really. I’ll just go and bother Daniel for a while longer.” with that she exited the cafeteria.

Hitting the doorway she turned back to see Cameron ignoring her. As he continued to eat is dessert. Determination sent, she stated to herself, “I’m independent and resourceful. I’ll find away.”

......A little bit later.......

Daniel comes running into the Cameron’s office.

“Colonel.....Mitchell...” he tried to catch his breath.. “Colonel.. You... Happen to have seen..... Vala?”

Cameron looked up from his desk. Daniel had his head down, and both arms on his legs. He was desperately trying to catch his breath.

“Hi, Doctor Jackson. Nice day. Oh and it was nice of you to KNOCK by the way!” Sarcasm pure in each word said.

Daniel looked up and his face turned red. The mission of before totally forgotten from his memory. “Oh, I’m sorry.. I .... just saw it open and.... I apologize. Would you like me to go back out and knock this time?”

Cameron just looked at him. ‘This is the GREAT Doctor Daniel Jackson. .. Feared throughout the galaxy. Well versed in over 27 languages.... Um....Okay....No longer impressed.’ And what is that stain by his.... Oh shit.. Let’s not go there.. Please!!

“So, I take it there is a reason you came barging into my office?” Wrong choice in words, Cameron.

“ Have you seen, Vala?”

“Yeah, some time ago. She was bugging me about something. So I sent her off. Said she was going to go bug..... See you.”

“Damn it!” Daniel sighed. He started to pace.

Cameron could see that something was seriously bothering Daniel.

“So what has Vala done now?” He asked. Afraid to honestly find out the answer. That last mission was still fresh in his mind. “And STOP pacing!”

Stopping in front of his desk, he stammered out, “She.. She picked my pocket! She stole my wallet.”

For a moment he was concerned. Then he honestly thought about it. “Well what did you have in it? Charge cards? Well, you reported them stolen, right?”

Daniel shook his head up and down.

So Cameron continued. “Well, that’s not much of a problem. You have what a few bucks in cash......” He watched as Daniel shook his head back and forth.

“Okay, a little more then a few....”

Daniel continued to shake his head.

“What the fuck did you have in there then?”

“Three thousand dollars...Which was for something....” he trailed off.

“Holy Shit!” Cameron was wondering just for a moment what that something could be.

“How can you afford to keep that much money in your wallet?” Cameron asked.

“Well, I am a civilian. And as such, my pay differs from what military officers make.”

Cameron literally sneered at him.

Taken back a bit, Daniel decided to continue with the conversation at hand. VALA.

“We need to find her. I check everywhere on this base. Except... “ He pointed upwards.

So Cameron picked up the phone and made a call.

 

.............

“Yeah... You don’t say..... Huh-uh... Okay... Well thank you.”

Hanging up the phone, Cameron looked at Daniel then to the door.

“One... Two.. Three...” in walked Vala.

“Hello, Darling. Heard you were searching all over for me. Now really, Daniel for an intelligent man you seem to be lacking the latter. If you would of just checked my assigned room... You would of found me. But I heard how you searched ALMOST every inch of this base for me. Poor, poor boy. ”

Vala made her way over toward Cameron’s desk, and away from a sneering Daniel.

“I would appreciate my wallet back, please?!” Daniel told her.

Tossing the brown Italian leather into the air, Daniel grabbed it. He searched it’s contents,  
“Um, Vala. Where is the money?”

Vala shrugged her shoulder. “MONEY?.. What do you mean by money?”

“Don’t play stupid, Vala!” Cameron stated.

“Who’s playing.” Daniel commented.

Vala just turned. She was impressed. That was a snappy comeback for Daniel. Childish, but impressive. He was improving.

“Do you mean those green bills that you had so many of? Well, I offered a few people them for a few favours....”

A knock was heard on the door.

“Come in!” Cameron yelled.

A young captain entered carrying a few bags. She dropped them by Doctor Jackson side.

“Doctor Jackson. I got everything that you had on your list. I hope it’s all suitably sized.” Handing him the list, she literally ran from the room red faced.

Daniel didn’t even bother to look at the two of them by the desk. The piece of paper was his. It was a list of ‘Personnel items’ that he had in his wallet. Items he intended to purchase, well out of the city limits. Maybe state. Red faced, he put the paper back into his wallet.

Cameron's headache of before was returning. He wished they were just take their childish antics elsewhere and leave him be. He wanted nothing to do with them nor what was in those bags.

Daniel could see Cameron rubbing his temples. He took that as his que to leave. Grabbing the bags he made to leave when Vala's voice stopped him.  
“So, Daniel as per that note; When you use those ‘toys’ on Cameron.... Can I watch?” Vala asked out of the blue. Winking at him.

Daniel face paled if even possible and he ran out of the office. Leaving behind a hysterical Vala, and a shocked Cameron... 

 

Scene:

On base, Jackson, Mitchell, Teal’c and Vala are playing basketball. Aliens verses the humans. Jackson passes to Mitchell and it rebounds. Vala grabs it as Teal’c lifts her into the air and she drops the ball through the hoop..

“Yeah! Woo!” Vala bops her hip into Teal’c.

“Hey!” Daniel raises his voice. “You cheated!”

The three other people on the court turn and look at the archeologist.

Stepping forward the whining man, Vala taunts. “What are you, Daniel... A sore loser?”

Daniel walks right into her person space. “I am NOT a sore loser! You cheated, so the last point does not count!”

Cameron and Teal’c watch as Daniel riles himself up over a simple game.

Cameron wonders if it has to do with losing to her, or the fact that the Alien’s torments have not lessened at all. Cameron would never admit this, even under excruciating torture, but he enjoyed the little cris crosses at one another. At first he was clueless, and then got the hint but played dumb. Now he’s just confused. He realizes there are a few things ‘off’ about Daniel Jackson. And still can’t get over that fact that General O’Neill and him were fooling... He shakes at the thought. He’s not homophobic are anything. He’s flattered at the fact that Daniel likes him. He thinks,.and feels really bad for Daniel. Vala now seems to be going for the kill. He had locked himself away in his office for the last few days. Even Cameron tried to get him to come out. He heard that Daniel would go home, real late at night, and arrive really early. Well, he was glad that Teal’c and Vala were able to get him out from hiding. Still unsure on exactly how... Maybe she promised to be good... Nah’ he shakes that off. No way. Now her torture session might make him hide in deeper. Well, hopefully the good Doctor could handle it.

Suddenly, Cameron was pulled at of his own little world by a grab of his ass. He looked first to Daniel, who pulled both hands up in the air. He turned to see Vala as the guilty party. “So nice. So firm. I bet you can get some great thrusting going with a butt like that.” She laughed as he jumped at the pinch she gave him.

She turned to see Daniel looking at his feet. She could tell he was blushing.

“Jealous?” she asked the man.

He refused to answer.

“Guess we know the answer.”

Cameron taps Daniel on the shoulder, pulling his face up. Seeing this, Vala switched her glances between the two hunks. The vicious smirk adorned her face.

“Daniel, just one more thing before I forget. I just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you finally decided to wash your face. That dirt on your chin was just so unattractive.”

She then turned her attention to Mitchell. “Cameron, my dear. Why don’t you inform Daniel how unattractive you find him having a child’s tantrum. You’ll never let him use those sexual toys on you if he continues to act like that. I believe that is called a ... ‘turn off?’” she looked to Teal’c to make sure she stated it correctly.

He shook his head.

Refusing to look at Cameron, a red faced Daniel glanced at Teal’c with a betrayed expression. Fists clenched tightly, he turned to exit the room. Only did he stop when he felt a hand on his arm.

“It’s okay, Daniel. Just ignore the leather clad dom.”

Vala moved toward both men. She slowly started to move her fingers up and down Cameron’s sweaty arm, only to sigh when he pushed it away. “Well, I was going to offer to show you my leather outfit, since Daniel surely did not approve... Guess lacking the male member was not a turnon. It’s such a shame, but oh well. You two enjoy each others...”

Vala did not get a chance to finish her sentence. Cameron and Daniel were long gone.

Placing her hands on her hips, she let out a breathe. Turning to the big Jaffa.

“So.. Would you like to see my leathers?”

A smile crept upon the big guys face.

The rest of the day was uninviting for the Archeologist.

His day was ruined when he was literally dragged from his office by Teal’c. He had spent the last few days hiding out in there. Leaving only when everyone was gone. He took Cameron’s advice and went to the cafeteria for some food after the basketball fiasco. But silence and peace would not last. Vala arrived and informed everyone that she took down Dr. Jackson and Colonel Mitchell in the game of basketball. Cameron just echoed that she pulled up her shirt and that was the only reason for their lapse of control.

Needless to say, A LOT of the SGC men asked for a one on one game with the brown haired alien. She stated, only if they were willing to experiment with Dr. Jackson’s special toys.

Daniel turned and with as much dignity he could muster left the cafeteria.

Concerned for his friend, Cameron decide it was time to end it for once in all. He was gonna ask, no plead with her to calm down her torments. If not call a truce.

She looked seriously heavy in thought for a moment, then state; “Why Cameron, I didn’t realize you cared that much for him. Of course, I’ll relax my torments. That is, right after I get the video of you two mating like bunnies.

Disgusted, Cameron left. Vala just smiled, and finished off their trays of food.

Daniel decided it might be a good time to take a little leave of absence. He seriously needed to get away from everything. Unfortunately, as he stood at Landry’s door; letter in hand. Another threat came and his plans were ruined.

His dear friend, and fellow SG1 er Lt. Colonel Sam Carter was back.

Seems there some new bad guys to deal with

“Vala,” The alien introduced herself to Sam.

“Sam,” Carter replied back.

While waiting in the office for Landry to arrive, Vala cozies herself besides Sam.

“So, have know Daniel for a long time?”

Sam looked at her. She wasn’t a fool. She could tell that something was up with this woman from the get go.

“I’ve known him for over 9 years.” she answered cautiously.

Daniel looked up. He could see that his worst nightmare was asking Sam questions about him. Though sadly he could only hear Sam’s whispered responses.

“So...” Vala dragged on for a moment.

“Have you ever had sex with Daniel?”

Sam splayed out the cup of coffee across the table. Soaking a very irrate Jaffa.

“”Excuse, me? What... Why would you even ask such a personal question. That is none of your business!” She responded.

Vala was amused by the blush that suddenly adorned Daniel’s face. He had heard that question.

“Well, that answers my question.” She rose from her seat.

Teal’c, Sam, Cameron, and Daniel looked at her. Thank god Landry had not come into the briefing room yet. Or so they thought.

“So.. Daniel... I see you have only slept with one member of your team... I wonder if...”

“VALA!” General Landry screamed out. “Sit your flat ass down! NOW!”

Vala did for once as directed. And sat there playing with her hair as the General got down to business

TIME LATER THEN ARE ON THE SHIP. THINGS ARE GOING TO HELL. VALA TRIES ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS TO GET THE OTHERS TO LISTEN. THEY IGNORE HER. TIRED OF BEING IGNORED, SHE TAKES MATTERS INTO HER OWN HANDS.

AND RINGS OVER TO THE OTHER SHIP THAT IS ABOUT TO BE PULLED APART.

Daniel screams out, “Vala!”

She looks at the speaker. “You don’t have to yell. I’m not deaf. I’m aboard the cloaked cargo ship that Gerak left behind to watch us.”

“How the hell did you find it?” Cameron asks.

Vala rolls her eyes. “Good guess? Look, the tones are set a certain way. Rings seek out the nearest set, which happens to be aboard this cargo ship, cloaked or not.” She continues to play with the buttons.

“What are you doing? Daniel asks with concern evident in his voice.

“Oh!. Now your concerned. GOOD! I am trying to help, Daniel. Someone had to do something and you would not listen. Actually, I got the idea from Sam. The objects are being held in some sort of energy field like links in a chain and I intended to take the place of the last link.

“Vala, when the singularity forms, there will be a powerful shockwave. The cargo ship won’t survive.” Sam tells her.

“I’m counting on it. I’ll ring back before it hits. Then you can all thank me. Remember, Cameron. Video. Mating like bunnies!”

Cameron blushes, while Daniel wonders what exactly she meant by that.

Vala decloaks the ship and moves it toward the object.

“Something’s wrong.” The crew look as the ship explodes. Vala never makes it back.

Daniel collapses down to the nearest seat.

“Damn!” he sigh. He never wished for anything like that to happen to her.

The crew look at each other, then head home.

MONTHS LATER

Warning: SELF LOVE: SKIP THIS PART IF YA DON”T WANT TO READ

Daniel’s lying on his bed.

Sweat is pouring down his temples. Hair sticking to his face. His breathes are coming out in pants. Pushing back harder, he grabs himself tighter and lets out a loud scream. Sticky substances flowing over his hand as he uses his clean hand to pull his toy out.

Warning done Continue on:

Things for the last few months have been hectic. A new bad is causing problems. Him and Cameron are fighting side by side, and have even hung out on several occasions. It’s easier without Vala making something of it.

Pushing himself up from bed, he drags his exhausted body into the shower.

Soaping up, and enjoying the warm water spray on this body; helps jumps back as he hears a voice from the past.

“Daniel...”

Pulling his head out of the water way, he looks around. A quick shake of the head , “Nah, it’s nothing. I’m just hearing things.” He tells himself.

“Daniel...” He hears it again and ignores it.

“Daniel!”

Turning the water off, he heads toward his bedroom and gets dressed.

“Great. I’m hearing things. “ He decides to head straight to the SGC and see what is going on.

On his way there the voice gets more persistent.

Signing in, he makes his way to the infirmary. Where Dr. Lam meets with him.

“Daniel, stop ignoring me!” the voice demands.

“Oh, shut up, will you!” Daniel screams out. Dr. Lam gives him a look.

“Pardon me?” She says. Not to happy at the man at the moment.

“I’m not talking to you, Carolyn. I’m sorry. I keep hearing Vala’s voice. And it’s getting annoying.” He informs her.

She looks at him with concern in her eyes. Asking him to sit, she makes a phone call.

A few minutes later and the gang are in the infirmary.

They watch as Daniel continues to take to himself.

“Vala your dead! Why are you tormenting me?” he asks aloud. His hands are spread out high, and his eyes to the ceiling.

The all turn to the doctor with concern.

“Split personality?” Sam ask.

“Oh, god no.” Cameron says. “That would just be too cruel.”

“Daniel shut up and listen to me. The Ori’ are planning something big. I am not dead. I am in trouble and in need of help.

“Your alive.. B.. But how?” He stammers.

“I got out in time, but got caught in a back wash. Now listen to me carefully. You need to find me. I am in no conditions to fight anymore. They are where I am at the moment.”

“Where is here?” He asks. “And what condition are you in?”

“Well,” he can hear her laugh. “It seems I am with child. And guess what? You’re the father!”

“Daniel...?”

“Daniel?”

Daniel couldn’t hear her, nor anyone else. Since he passed out in a dead feint. ...


	4. Access Denied: No Entry Allowed into Cameron's Stargate!

Days have past since Daniel came running to the SGC with delusions and grammars of Vala running through his head. Doctor Lamb ran test after test until there was nothing left for her to run. They had come to one of two conclusions: The first being that Vala had finally brought the good Doctor into a psychotic snap. Her months of torment had finally worn the poor man down, and this was what was the outcome.

 

Then there was the second; Vala was indeed in Daniels head. This is the one they realized after brain scans showed increase activity, that it was most likely the truth.

 

After trying several things, they realized the only way to eradicate the problem was to find Vala herself. The problem being... Where is she?

 

Cameron entered the little bullet proof room that overlooked the ISO room. Taking his familiar seat of the last few days, he glanced down at the patient on the infirmary bed.

 

There laid Doctor Daniel Jackson.

 

Cameron shifted himself closer to the window, taking a long glance at his friend. . Daniels laying his head back on two pillows, while his head holds a familiar ice pack.

 

The Colonel is worried. He knows Carter and Teal'c are doing everything that they can to locate Vala, but as the days prolong... Cameron is fearing for Daniel..

 

“When the hell are they going to get off their rear ends and find me!”

 

"Yes.. I swear we are doing everything we possibly can to find you."

 

“Oh please.. You would like nothing more then to leave me here... stranded. I bet your forget about me just like that!”

 

"NO, I swear on your life we will not leave you there... Trust me... .I won't allow them to forget about you..."

 

“...”

 

"Vala... My head is killing me. Do you think you could give me a few moments of peace and quiet?

 

"Sure. No problem, Daniel. I’m just a poor defenceless woman. Why don’t I just sit here and wait for the Ori to KILL ME and my innocent child! Like hell I'm gonna give you peace!"

 

Cameron winces in sympathy when he sees the look on Daniels face.

 

"Oh, please. Poor and innocent is not something I would put in the same line with your name. And that child... No one can call the spawn of Satan a child!"

 

“...”

 

Cameron snickered unable to control himself. He knew this was serious, but he really missed the banter between Daniel and Vala.. Though he’d never admit it.

 

The smirk was erased from his face as he again glanced a look at the archeologist. Dark lines sunk his handsome features, as his face was a shade of freshly fallen snow.. Nothing funny about Daniel’s appearance.

 

"Oh, please.. your nothing but a Floozy."

 

“A... Floozy? You...you...Pathetic excuse for male!”

 

"You don’t know what a Floozy is! Let me translate so your feeble mind might come-pre-hand: A floozy is prostitute. A hooker... Street..."

 

"I know what that word means, I saw that movie of yours! Your just jealous because you can’t get a real woman... or man to that effect that doesn’t pop at moment of contact.. That’s why you have so many of them ‘toys’ of yours. Replacements. Toys can buy you happiness I guess. You are pathetic, Daniel.."

 

"Yeah.. Yeah.. Well, if I had to choose between you and those 'toys', we know what the batteries would be functioning."

 

“Sigh..I’m never going to get that tape of the two of you mating like bunnies...”

 

"WHAT... TAPE? WHO MATING LIKE BUNNIES?" Daniel screamed looking up catching Cameron’s eye..

 

Cameron growled and dropped his head on the desk..

 

"Ow!"

 

“Well... It’s like this... Cameron had told me...”

 

"Oh, god.. Never mind!" Daniel sighed. Pulling at his hair trying to get her to stop.

 

"Shut up! SHUT THE FUCK UP WOMAN!"

 

“...”

 

"I wish I knew where you are so I could send the Ori your location and..."

 

Daniel screamed.

 

Carolyn ran into the room with Cameron hot on her heels. Carolyn tried unsuccessfully to pull Daniel's arm down to give him a sedative. Cameron helped with the muscle and a moment later Daniel turned to them with a weary smile.

 

His plush face, and dull eyes glanced toward Cameron's.

 

"Find her and kill the bitch! Please..." He begged then closed his eyes.

 

Carolyn turned to a shocked faced Cameron.

 

“It’s too much for him. Let's get out of here so we can talk."

 

Both of them exited Daniels ISO room, and entered the room to watch his progress.

 

"So... how much more of this is he going to be able to take?" Cameron asked her.

 

"Yes, I could like to know that also," General Landry stated walking in the door.

 

"Not too much more. I can not keep on sedating him, and risk starting an addiction. We need to find Vala and put an end to this for Doctor Jackson's health and sanity..."

 

"Colonel Carter and Teal'c are close, but not close enough to finding the planet Vala is stranded on..." He turned to Cameron.

 

"Do you think that..."

 

Suddenly he is interrupted by a scream coming from Daniel.

 

Carolyn looked puzzled and concerned.

 

"He should be knocked out... That sedative should of knocked him out."

 

They all turned to see Daniel acting.. well unDaniel like.

 

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!" He hollered, covering his ears with his fingers. Then he started to sing.

 

"I'm Henry the eighth I am. Henry the eighth I am I am. I got married to the widow next store.."

 

Cameron and General Landry turned to Carolyn..

 

"Yeah, that knocked him out alright. Out into Hermans Hermits land.”

 

Both gave Cameron a look..

 

"COLONEL!" they both disciplined.

 

“I going to see how the Colonel and Teal’c are doing,” Landry told the two. Carolyn followed to check on Daniel. As Landry opened the door to leave ...

 

"Eighth I am. I'm Henry. Henry the eighth I am.." came from Daniels mouth.

 

Cameron couldn't resist..

 

"Second verse. Same as the first."

 

"COLONEL!" They screamed in unison. Landry shook his head and exited the room 

 

______________________Vala is found and rescued____________________

A little later:::

"I would NOT be surprised one bit if your child had three six’s tattooed on its head somewhere." Daniel said to Vala as he was getting his reports in order for the briefing.

“What was that?” Vala asked.

"Oh, nothing!" Daniel replied with a sweet smile.

A few hushed snickers were heard around the table before Teal’c replied to her.

"I believe Daniel Jackson is making reference to the Omen child." Teal'c told the confused woman.

Vala shrugged her shoulder. “So? Nothing wrong with the Omen child. Adria is a god with servants. She's a princess . . ”

Teal’c interrupted her rant. “You are delusional Vala Mal Doran. The Omen child is a spawn of something as evil if not more then the Ori."

He dead panned, "It was not a compliment!”

Everyone turned to the Jaffa. Sour faced.

"Oh, boy."

"Ya just had to open your mouth, T."

"Great, Teal'c."

Angry, Vala rose from her seat, moving until she had her face in Daniels . . . "I will NOT have you talk about our daughter in that matter. She is just a baby!"

"Like hell that overgrown future killing machine, you so harmlessly call a "baby" is mine!" Daniel jumped up surprising Vala, causing her momentarily to flinch backwards. He was so red faced, his voice actually squeaked.

"She has a name: It's ADRIA! And anyway, I didn’t impregnate myself. Your sperm mixed with my egg and we created a child of love!"

“WHAT!?” Daniel screamed. "We did not have sex!! No you, no me together...And definitely no love. "

"I should sue you for child support! I saw it on one of those movies that.."

Daniel interrupted with: “I never had sex with an oversexed, floozy as yourself!”

“I might admit I am a little oversexed . . . But I am not a floozy. You and I made love that night under the stars after you had that bottle of jack Daniels and we . . . ”

“Vala!” Daniel had enough.

"Created our child: It would have been perfect had you not called out Cameron’s name as you came."

Cameron who, was enjoying the banter between the two, became white faced and tried to hide under the table.

Sam & Teal’clooked at each other unsure if they should intervene that was until Daniel tried to strangle Vala and Landry chose that exact moment to walk in.

“DOCTOR JACKSON!” Came the screaming voice of reason. Daniel froze, looking embarrassed to have lost control.

"Children take your seats!" Landry hollered.

A huffy ‘Sorry General,’ was Daniels reply as he gave his tormentor the evil eye and took his seat.

"Ms. Mal Doran?" General Landry said, moving his hand toward her empty seat.

She smiled and quietly took her place. From the look on her face, they all knew that Daniel’s torment was far from over.

After a few moments, everyone turned to Daniel for him to continue his reports.

Reopening the file in which he was so rudely interrupted from reporting before he continued on.

"Now, from what we have been told from. Adria . . . " Daniel started.

"Our daughter." Vala interrupted.

Daniel just looked at her.

Sam rolled her eyes.

As did Teal’c in his nonchalant way.

Cameron continued to eye the floor and Landry just dropped his head into his hands.

"Cut it out, Vala." Daniel sneered. Then he turned his focus back onto the papers he held in his hands.

"Why? Why should I cut. It. Out. My dear? I became pregnant. Am I the same as what is in your bible? Will they write another one . . . " She was cut off by Landry?

"Do NOT go there, Ms. Mal Doran."

Vala looked at the General and stopped in her tracks. She shook her head and allowed Daniel to continue.

"Good, now she claims further that it is the Ancients, and not the Ori, who drain power from their followers. They created human life in our galaxy to gain enough power to destroy the Ori -- making this bloody crusade a pre-emptive strike against the true "evil."

"Daniel Jackson, since you were an ancient, do you believe you’re . . . ADRIA?"

Daniel looked sharply at Teal’c. The Jaffa just sat there looking solemn. But, Daniel could have sworn a small smirk crossed his lips.

"Well, that’s the million-dollar question, Daniel. Is ADRIA speaking the truth?" Cameron asked.

"I don’t believe so." He told them.

"But you’re not sure," Sam finished for him.

Daniel just shook his head

"All right, Now you’re all dismissed. I wish to see you here again at 0700.

Hours."

They all nodded and went on their ways.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Months Later

"Jack? What do we owe this pleasure to?" Landry asked arriving O'Neill.  
"Um. Well here ya go." He handed over a piece of paper to General Landry.

Landry looked at the paper and gave a look to Jack.

"You’re giving me a bill?" He asked Jack. Astounded.

"There were damages to my cabin. It is in need of repairing."

"Your cabin needed repairs before hand, Jack. The hunters just made some improvements."

"Improvements? It was in great condition. You can just ask Dan. Um. Forget that. My cabin was in great condition until you and Cameron went there and shot it to hell."

“We did no such thing, Jack. And anyway that was months ago. What is this really about?”

Jack looked around his office, fiddling with his fingers.

“Well I was bored and came to both.. See Daniel and it seems he’s not here.”

“He disappeared months ago, Jack. We did send you a message to which you replied and I quote

AGAIN. WHEN HE GETS BACK TELL HIM TO CALL ME!

“Well, ya knows. He’s kinda of been there, done that.” He pointed to his silver hair to prove his point. Hank let out a chuckle.

At that moment Vala entered the office.

“General Landry, oh you must tell me who his Handsome fox is.”

Landry looked up to the heavens for support.

“Vala Mal Doran, this is General Jack O’Neill. Jack. This is Vala.”

“Oh she’s the one that got Daniels panties in a twist.” Jack let out a laugh.

Vala moved over closer, to Jack.

“Oh, so your Daniels Jack. I wonder how you feel to know Daniels panties as you called it, are mine alone to twist.”

“Couldn’t care less... Daniels a big boy: He can take care of himself.”

Vala stopped and stared hard at the man in front of her. Eying him crucially for a few seconds a devious smile adorned her face.

“Well no wonder traded up for a newer model. I guess you couldn’t please him any longer, with you being old, stupid and all.”

Landry clears his voice trying to get Jack’s attention.

"I’d call you a lady, but I think that’s an insult to the women out there. Just realize one thing. I know a hundred ways to maim you with just my hands!" Jack told her.

The biggest smile adorned her face. "Ah. Finally, I have someone I can play with. Daniel was such a baby with that. So . . . Your bedroom or mine?"

Jack and Landry just looked at each other and left the office . . .

After fighting the Ori . . .

Fighting Adria . . .

And searching high and low for Daniel: (Jack even joined on board.. Sometimes..)

They came across a planet . . .

FAR. FAR . . . AWAY. (Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. The writers of the show “borrow” from it, why can’t I)

The team comes across a new Prior.Shocked to find out it's their very own Daniel Jackson.  
"Daniel Jackson!"  
"Daniel?"  
"So that's where you went!"

"Oh MY GOD, Daniel! What happened to you?"  
Vala stands herself next to the newly powered out Ori/Prior Daniel Jackson.

"Come on, Daniel; White is not a good color for your reflection," She shook her head. "When we get you back, we’re going to have to Nice and Easy your hair. And your eyes. Well, I guess contacts. Skin . . . Well I do have a quite nice shade of rouge that might work."

Bright lights surrounded Daniel. He starts to raise his staff.

Looking around the open space of Daniel, Vala asks of the others in the team.. "Does anyone know where the outlet is to unplug Daniel, here?"

"You will not win against us..." he spews out once more...

"Blah.. Blah.. Blah.. Daniel, we've heard it all before. Starting to repeat yourself there..."

A bright lights surround the group...

And there lays a naked Daniel on the ground.

"Daniel?"

The once powdered and light up Daniel looks up at his friends and realizes he’s in the buff.

Covering his ‘assets’, he sees the staff in his hand and tosses’ it away from him.

He forgets he’s naked for a moment, until he catches Vala and Cameron staring at him. His hand goes back to cover his pride and joy.

"Ah, guys . . . what just happened?"

"Well, Daniel it seems . . . " Sam starts to say, but is cut off by Vala.

"It seems, my dear Daniel that YOU became one of the Ori!" She grabs his hand and pulls him up with Teal’c help.

She then precedes to slap him upsides the head and continues on.

“Hey that hurt . . . Can someone get me something to cover myself with. And what was that for?”  
"You were a very naughty boy, and Daniel . . . I will have to punish you for that. My room. Tonight!"

Vala stormed away toward the gate.

Daniel can see the others are too busy checking his naked flesh out to help him out with some clothes.

He tries again.“Can someone please get me something to cover myself with?”

Over the now snickers surrounding him, someone, maybe Teal’c handed him a T-shirt. He gave Sam and Cameron a look like I know you have a spare pair of pants. Come on. They just turned and followed Vala.

“It will have to do.” Daniel used the shirt to best cover himself while on the trek back to the gate.

Later that night at the SGC.

That night the entire 25th floor could have sworn they heard moans, groans and what seemed like a whipping noise echo the halls.

Some swear it was the voice of Vala and the moans of Daniel Jackson, while others say it was

Siler once again getting a little to up and personnel with his favorite wrench.

You will have to decide, but what we do know is . . .

The next morning a slowly moving Daniel made his way into the briefing room.  
Vala just smiled at his arrival patting the seat cushion next to her. Daniel carefully took the seat.  
"So, Jackson.. You feeling all right there?" Cameron asked with a smile. He was already seeing the answer by the pained reflection on Daniels face.

"Funny." He shuddered out.

"Daniels fine, Cameron. Unless you would like some of the same," She gives him a wink.

He checks out Daniel who seems to have a bit of a hopeful look on his face.

Cameron just smirks at the pair. From what he heard about last night, and seeing the smile on Daniels face. He might like Valas punishment . . . ' 

the end!!! Just to tell you all.. I was and am OBSESSED with Farscape!! I only starting watching SG1 after it was cancelled...So I loved working with Cameron and Vala in stories!!!


End file.
